Exhaustion

Deep in autumn now. The air is actually cold and chilly. I sat out at the Pavilion Gardens today with a coffee, few remaikning green tables huddled in the sun. Had to pull my coat tighter round myself as it was too cold.
Too cold.
The luxury of those words.
A bright and clear day though. The sun has shone all day, and now, across the strreet, the last of the day is sunset-red, creeping over chimneys and windows.
Not a cloud in the behind the chimneys.
A cold, clear night coming.

Utterly exhausted today. I don't know why. I kept waking up throughout the night though. Too many coffees during the day no doubt. I remember vague, panicky thoughts about growing older and doing nothing, interspersed with falling-to-sleep images of paintings and drawings.
Sometimes sleep is more exhausting than waking.

Can barely even type properly tonight, let alone think of something even vaguely intelligible to write. My eyes feel as if they have been open too long, a hot-desert feeling. I hear the sound of footsteps on the landing.
Twilight is gathering in my room.
Down on the streets, the sound of children chanting something.

A return to Worcester this weeked, going up on friday with Em and returning on Sunday.
Worcester in October.
I hope this trip to Worcester will prove less tumultuous than my previous trip in May, where on my first morning there, I found out I was made redundant. Goodness. Five months ago.
Time is going by far too quickly.

I'm going to have to try and drag my concentration back to wakefulness, and resist the urge for sleep. After all, 'The Apprentice' is on in a couple of hours.