Seagulls and Guilt

White-grey days to sun, and the sun on the sea looked warm. A green sea. I wondered what it would be like to fall in the sea, out of sight of land. Sink among the calm tides under the new-blue skies. Fall asleep under the waves, and wake on the shore.
Walk back home, sea-soaked, for a cup of tea.
At lunchtime in St Nicholas Churchyard, a seagull kept watching me eat my sandwiches. I was at first annoyed, then worried about the safety of my sandwich -that beak looked wicked-sharp- then finally sorry for the poor thing.
No fish to hunt, just bits of crisps and sandwiches to hope for.
Didn't get any though.
I felt oddly guilty walking back to work.
An almost supernatural tiredness this afternoon, creeping up through phonecalls and 5pence coffees from the machine. A doodle I was doing showed a man fast asleep in a comfortable looking bed in a dark room.
This, it must be said, did not make me feel any more awake.