Morris Dancers, Portland Road Freakouts and no Quiet Anything

Tried to go for a 'quiet pint' with Em after she finished work last night. As soon as we hit Portland Road, the various screams and dismaying air of male drunken aggression pushed us down the seafront instead to the Neptune. A man was being told off at the bar 'and you just come in and cause problems and annoy the customers - that's why you were banned!'. A skinhead-looking man next to us sat on his own, muttering schizophrenically into a beer that was as dark as he was.
Tried to for a quiet cup of tea this afternoon with Em. Thought we'd go to the Pavilion Gardens. Sat down with cups of tea on the green chairs, watching people walk to and from (it is an outdoor cafe). Then there was a jangling of bells. Then we were swamped by five or six different groups of morris dancers their trousers jangling with bells. The morris dancers cluttered up the cafe. They all seemed quite excited about something. I think they had all been having some kinf of morris dancing contest. Now there was a display of rowdy morris dancing, and accompanying medieval folk musicians and lots of shouting and clacking of sticks and bearded men and middle aged women chanting 'hail the ale!'.
With a growing air of surreal bemusement, Em pointed out how one of the morris dancers looked exactly like Jow would if he had taken up morris dancing...