Cold and empty days.
I walk to town to meet friends for coffee. The day struggles to get out of twilight. Before that I wake hungover and restless. I kept waking throughout the night. Recurring images of worst case scenarios that are hardly life-shattering but bother me deeply anyway.
Good night at the Evening Star last night, hence the hangover. New year ales and friendly old dogs. An old labrador took a friendly liking to my hand. Caught the bus down and the taxi back Fell into sleep almost immediately. Sleep is recompense, but not the waking, not the dreams.
How long will these cold and empty days last for? Till spring? It feels like they are here to stay forever, everything dark and immutable.
Three weeks till I find out whether or not I have passed probation at work. I think not. Back into the job market again, looking for a job I can tolerate, and these days pass by, and these years pass. Nothing thaws. everything grows more entrenched.
Anyway, I've got to do the washing up now.
