'A Mouthful of Weirdness' said the Boy

As soon as I stepped into the upstairs section of the comic shop, I knew I had picked the wrong day to pick up last weeks issues. I have nothing against chatty shop assistants... Well, I do actually, its just the last thing I want to do when I walk into a shop, is have to have a conversation with the people who work there. Maybe I'm just grumpy, but I want to be left alone to browse in peace. It should be fairly obvious when someone wishes to talk and when someone doesn't. It obviously wasn't today however, as the boy behind the counter began to tell me about his 'mouthful of weirdness' he was having that day (whatever that means). With trepidation I asked him what that was. 'I wouldn't like to tell you as I might offend you'. 'I'm sure I won't be offended' I replied in what I hoped was to be a manner that might indicate that I'm sure I actually wouldn't be interested. 'I'm not ready to talk about it anyway'. He started to talk about comics instead. I wished somebody else would come upstairs and take away his attention. I desperately scanned the shelves looking for the titles I needed. I asked him instead if 'Justice League' had arrived this month. This led into a long and complicated explanation that basically boiled down to 'it will be in this week'. He then went on to say how much he hated repeating himself, and how this was a trait he picked up from his father, or mother, or something, and how, if he was repeating himself, all he wanted to do was shoot the person he was forced to repeat himself to. By this time I was quite fancying a bit of gun-play myself. Still, at least it was better than the old guy who is sometimes in the comic shop, not sure if he works there or just hangs around, but he follows you about, making comments on every comic you pick up, and drones on about just how fantastic and comprehensive his own collection is and how he's one of the 'most serious' collectors in the country... I know Saturdays are the day to avoid because that is when he is mostly there. If I walk past and spy him in there I hurry quickly on only to come back another day.