4:27pm

I got up at about 2:00pm this afternoon. I didn't go to sleep till 6:00am. Lay there reading threads on urban exploration forums about the creepiest things that had happened to people while in abandoned buildings. I got into the spook-out zone, so even the dawn against the curtains began to creep me out. I started thinking about ideas for a novel (which I never intend to write of course) where an old homeless guy spends years squatting in an abandoned hospital. The hospital is haunted (or in his head, he's an alcoholic) and the book would be about the effect of living in such a place would have on him, how he would become to be infected by such a toxic environment.
I got up after Andy had left for work. I've flicked through graphic novels (The Marvel ones that will eventually form a set of 60, that I've been getting for a year and a half now). I've drank one cup of tea, and listened to the sound of the workshops below.
I deactivated my facebook account yesterday. I'm not sure why, but it seemed like some kind of good idea. I suppose I was wasting too much time on it, being maudlin and looking at old photographs.
I might go for a walk down the beach or something. I went down the beach yesterday, but felt too hot and panicky and came back. Summer is beginning to seem a long time ago now, even though it doesn't really feel like autumn. I can't imagine doing any artwork. I feel like I'm just waiting around until I get the motivation and courage (or desperation) to get a job (some menial, petrol station type of thing, or maybe some call centre, at least for a few months). Even when I handed in my notice at the old call centre, I had a feeling that this would happen... this lethargy. I told everyone that I was going to 'concentrate on my art', but now I have the time to concentrate on my art, I feel little in the way of motivation for it. With facebook now out of the way, I don't have an audience for it (I would post photographs of any pieces up there).
Maybe it's good to do nothing for a while.
Funny. A year ago I was in Kinloss with Emily - though by now we were probably back in Forres, about to catch the train back to Inverness. I was happier then, or if not happier, at least less disquieted.
There's no weather out there today.
I can see a splash, a smudge, of blue sky.