Heartbreak, end of 1996

I remember the dark hollows of that heartbreak, the empty skies of those following days, white with rain and not-rain, and summers gone. Long afternoons faded away. I smoked cigarettes, and knew that beauty is experienced harshly, at it's deepest when it slips away. Rainwater down drains.
There was a pylon that in the darkness looked like a ferris wheel, and when I nearly forgot heartbreak, that ferris wheel would call it back. There was the bridge that I would walk over only to attend evening lectures where I talked to no-one.
December was like something gone wrong. Great icicles outside the window, epic fits of insomnia - 4:00am was a familiar friend, and I would have to set the alarm to wake up any time before mid-afternoon. I thought I was happy then, but I was not, and now I realise I was and long for it back.